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Show Notes
In this episode, we will talk about why it is important to deepen the awareness of the relationship you have with your body and improve it before embarking on your weight loss journey.
You will learn:
- that you are the one who chooses the truth you believe about your body
- how you can find reasons to be thankful to it and shift your mindset
- the mechanism through which the thoughts you unconsciously have about your body undermine your weight loss efforts
- how to choose thoughts that serve you better than the ones you have now
I will also share three practical ways you can develop a positive relationship with your body that you can apply right now.
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Transcript
In this episode, I want to talk about how and why it is important to deepen the awareness of the relationship you have with your body and improve it before embarking on your weight loss journey.
Here are two reasons I want to offer.
Firstly, your body is worthy of your love regardless of its shape and weight, whether it is sick or healthy, weak or strong, tall or short.
Secondly, if you don’t start your journey towards your weight loss goal with positive feelings about your body but with the thought that you want to lose weight IN ORDER TO love your body, then your journey will be much harder and your chances of failure higher. I’ll explain exactly why.
Let’s first see why your body is not more deserving of your love in the future than it is now. Think of your body as someone you have a relationship with. Become aware of the places it takes you day-by-day, how supportive it is and how much it has done for you, no matter how tired it was. It stayed up late with you to finish projects, woke up in the middle of the night for months to feed, change, and rock your baby. It allows you to pursue your passions, dance, swim, travel, walk, see the world, see people. It is the temple where your soul and mind live, the only one they have in this existence. Notice the feelings this perspective produces in you—how would you act if you had these feelings most of the time? How do you decide to treat your body when you feel these things? What prevents you from believing them instead of the negative things you might be thinking now?
There is no universally valid truth about your body. It is just a body.
It doesn’t matter what others have told you about it. It is merely a reflection of their beliefs and their inner world. Choose what you want to believe to be true. Your body is strong and beautiful. Yes! You can choose to believe this.
Now let’s see what happens if, during the weight loss process, you continue to have negative thoughts about your body.
Thoughts create feelings. Feelings determine the actions you take.
“I’ve never liked my body”— what do you feel when you hear this? Perhaps resignation or sadness.
“I love my body and I help it lose weight to be healthy and full of energy”—what feelings does this thought create? The vibration is high, very different from the first thought. It propels you forward, gives you motivation, and everything seems possible.
Imagine you have to take someone onto your team for this project of losing weight. Would you take a person who tells you every day “I’ve never liked your body” or one who says “Your body is beautiful and I help it lose weight to be healthy and full of energy”? The choice is so simple and it is just as simple regarding your thoughts. You just need to decide.
Negative thoughts do not create the motivation needed to take the necessary actions towards your goal, day after day. You would need a lot of willpower, and at some point, when you encounter obstacles, whether you are aware of them or perceive them as signs to postpone your plan, willpower will no longer be effective and sufficient.
Moreover, our mind seeks evidence in the external world to confirm what we believe to be true.
Have you ever noticed a certain thing around you out of the blue and then seen it everywhere? For example, you plan to buy a certain car, and suddenly you see it everywhere on the street? Or you became pregnant and see a lot of other pregnant women or women with babies wherever you go?
All this was already there, but your brain filtered it out because it keeps the information useful for you, depending on your beliefs and plans.
If, during the weight loss process, you mostly have negative thoughts about your body, you will need to use a lot of willpower to overcome all the evidence your mind brings you that you have an unattractive body that will stay that way.
You might wonder why, when we truly want to lose weight, our mind doesn’t start looking for evidence that it can be done.
Firstly, it might be because you don’t truly believe it, you have doubts, or even deeply rooted beliefs that there is something wrong with your body and that it isn’t capable of losing weight. It’s very possible you are not aware of these beliefs, as they might be operating on autopilot.
Secondly, it might be because change involves stepping out of your comfort zone. The brain wants to keep you in the comfort zone, where you are safe and not exposed to any danger. More precisely, your reptilian brain, which seeks pleasure, to save energy, and to protect you from danger—practically, it wants you to survive. It will bring you numerous pieces of evidence that it will be difficult to reach your goal, such as “you’ve been trying for so long and you haven’t succeeded,” “there must be something wrong with you because others manage to lose weight or don’t gain it,” “you won’t have time to change your eating habits, look how busy you are every day,” “you surely need to work out five times a week to succeed; it’s too hard.” In this situation, you need to invite the prefrontal cortex into the discussion, the part of your brain responsible for decision-making, impulse control, goal setting, organization, and planning. Let it bring the arguments for why, despite these things, you will lose weight, how, how long it will take, how it will happen, and how you will overcome obstacles.
Before moving on to three practical techniques you can apply, think about how you would treat your body when you love it compared to when you are ashamed of it. If you love it, you will want to feed it the healthiest food, free from toxins and chemicals, full of nutrients that benefit it and give it energy. You will prioritize it. Just as you would feed your child—we all want to give our children the best. There is no doubt about this. On the other hand, if you have negative feelings towards your body, you won’t care how it is nourished, how it feels. You won’t think about its needs.
Here is the first method:
Transitioning from one day to the next to loving your body, especially if you have disliked it for a long time, is not realistic. However, through small changes in the thoughts that diffuse in your mind, you can succeed. I propose the Bridge Thought method: a bridge that connects the current thought to the new thought, something in between. Something you consider to be true now and could replace the current negative thought.
Here are some examples:
“My body is capable of….” here you complete with what sounds true to you.
“I am learning to love my body.”
“I am becoming a person who loves their body.”
“I allow myself to love my body.”
“It is possible to love my body.”
Notice how you feel when you say these sentences. Do you feel better than with your current thoughts?
Let’s move on to the second method:
Observe and move your body. Create a constant connection with it, a daily dialogue. If you like to dance, swim, or do yoga, start now. At home or sign up for a class. The fact that you will spend a pleasant moment doing these activities will cultivate positive feelings towards your body, and it will be grateful, sending you a sense of well-being.
The third method:
You might be surprised by what I suggest, but: Buy clothes that fit you well now! Let go of the jeans that are too tight and highlight your fat rolls, and the shirts that are too small. Even if you will have to change them in six months because you have lost weight. Choose some clothes, it doesn’t have to be an entire wardrobe, that fit you well and highlight your current shape. This will help you make peace with your body, start looking in the mirror, and like what you see. Too tight clothes, instead of motivating you to fit into them again, further reduce the appreciation you have for your body.
At the end of each episode, I will share a small change you can make now.
The change for this week is:
Choose a beautiful thought that you consider true about your body and diffuse it in your mind as much as possible. It’s helpful to write it down. As many times as necessary. You will notice that during this time, even if it’s short at first, while you manage to keep it active, the other negative thoughts do not diffuse; they are on pause.
“I am becoming a person who loves their body.”
